I Want to Die, But I Don't

I want to die but I don't.

I'll be driving in my car and I'll want to crash and go.

I press on the gas and start to turn my wheel so fast.

Then I think about the trees and how I love the snow.

And I turn the wheel back slow and decide to make it last.

I want to die but I don't.

In the shower when I'm crying I grab the razor and I wish,

I could slide it up my arm and see the blood fall from my wrist.

Then I think of my family and all of the people I would miss.

I want to die but I don't.

Sometimes before I go to sleep I pray I won't wake up

maybe I could take some pills to speed the process up.

Then I think about you and all of the things that I love.

I want to die but I don't,

I just want to end the pain that keeps taking up my mind,

killing me anyway.

I want to die but I don't because I think about it all

and how much it would hurt them once they got the call.

How it would break your hearts and how life is sometimes great.

How I don't want to be apart of all the new days.

I want to die but I don't.

I know I need to live,

I have too much in my heart

I have more love to give.