I Want Heaven

There is a piece of me down below, a golden silence, but it does not show.

I try to retrace my steps, but the path is hidden, and the crumbs have been replaced.

You disappeared along the way, I'll find you, the me I lost so long ago.

Day after day, you put these bricks in place, that even the mirror no longer recognizes your face.

This child once laughed more than they cried, but the world is cruel, and that child died.

Day after day, there is so much to say, but when there's no one to listen - to your fears, you fall prey.

The absolute anguish of another day, you despise the faces, the ones that deliver so much hate.

You cry when alone so that no one thinks of you as weak, but the pain is all you know, so you cut your skin deep.

I don't think I could ever be happy, and my mask has worn thin, and these people - no, they are not my friends.

In my search to just fit in, I find my love, it is a drug, but she welcomes me in.

Now I have a place to go, it may be shallow, but when I want heaven, off we go!

One can hide in the shadow, but only for so long before icy fingers pry and rip out your soul.

I cry with these final tears; I look to the sky and only think of what could have been.

A parent with a child of my own, so I could give and receive love, the kind I should have always known.