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I Wait

Anxiety

By Magdalena BrzoskaPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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This anxiety is crippling.

An overwhelming weight on my chest.

My heart beats faster as the thoughts flood my mind.

My intuition is no longer to be trusted.

My anxiety has taken me hostage.

A war in my mind battling, between the sane and irrational.

I want it to stop.

I need it to stop.

The only remedy is to see this through.

Will the irrational be right or the locked up sanity?

Sleep is no longer a luxury I can enjoy.

As I lie awake, the hours slip past like a thief in the night. Robbing me of rest.

All calm on the outside.

Not a word escapes my mouth, only my breath.

Only I know what goes on inside of my mind and body.

Internally, another world rages on sucking me back in deeper into the abyss of worry.

Incessant, and ridiculous worry—of that I am aware.

Even in writing the panicked friend anxiety is my companion.

It stalks me, taunts me and strikes me over and over until I am forced to take action.

Even when I write, you sit and watch me. Making sure I don't leave out a single word.

Making sure I please you.

A prisoner in my own mind, one that I've unintentionally created myself.

My mind is such a powerful ruler.

One day it is kind and forgiving, the other it is ruthless and abusive.

Limbs tired and eyes stinging as I write.

I wait.

Waiting is all I can do for now.

For the heaviness to lift from my chest.

I remember that this feeling will pass, it always does.

I wait for God to come and rescue me yet again. I have waited before and You have answered me with your tranquil silence. You have come and washed away the feeling of dread.

You slay the demons of my mind. I wait because I know You are fighting for me.

You come and all these memories of anxiety and this hell is erased and my spirit is free again. I wait because my soul understands that You will come, even when my mind refused to believe.

I wait because You give me the strength and power to rebuild through the ruble time and time again. You help me break through back to clarity.

sad poetry
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About the Creator

Magdalena Brzoska

Teacher. Poet. Hopeless romantic.

Insta: panimekepeke

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