I've Never Been Afraid

I'm not afraid of spiders

that scurry and skitter

on spindly little matchstick legs

Descending from above unseen

on silken threads

to dangle overhead

I

can

squish

them

with my thumb

Or snag the strand between my fingers

to carry them f a r a w a y

while they

hang

helplessly in mid-air

I can trap them

under drinking glasses

and watch them search

for escape

Once...

I ate a tarantula leg

just for bragging rights

I don't recommend it

I felt the hairs in my throat

for hours

Still...

I'm mesmerized by the intricacy

of the weaving of their webs

that glisten in the sunlight

under overhanging eaves

I've never been afraid of spiders

-

I'm not afraid of snakes

that slither through the grass

upon their soft white bellies

Hissing with

black

forked

tongues

Curling into twisted balls

to shake, rattle, and h u m

As a girl...

I wrapped one

round my shoulders

felt the weight

s t r e t c h

arm to arm

The scales rough and rippled

sliding

across

my

skin

Its tongue tickled my cheek

as it nuzzled in close

and wrapped it's body tighter

I swayed and sang:

“Oh! I'm being eaten

by a boa-constrictor!”

and laughed

at my clever joke

Still...

I'm enthralled by the sight

of a skin

shed and

d i s c a r d e d

empty...

just a shell

I've never been afraid of snakes

-

I'm not afraid of flying

soaring through the skies

above the earth

and through the clouds

Where man

was

never

meant to be

And yet...

here we are

Every day

we pass overhead

In metal birds

that defy

g r a v i t y

Bringing us closer

to the gods

than Icarus ever dreamed

At fourteen...

I flew home

from Belgium

by myself

I sat next to Alorna

from Perth

Who somehow got us both

invited

inside the cockpit

And I was in complete

a w e

The view from the front

was so much better

And all the switches and gizmos

were fascinating

Forever...

I wanted to stay up there

I've never been afraid of flying

-

But

I am afraid today

I feel the terror in my chest

As my heart

begins

to

race

And spots fill my vision

tears burning to break free

I can't speak

I cannot even breathe

You didn't

a n s w e r

when I called

I don't know

where you've gone

Or

when you're coming home

Maybe you're just busy

out there having fun

But maybe…

I close my eyes against

the visions

My imagination

is not my friend

There's so many things

that might have

happened

So...

I take a breath

and p r a y

I remind myself

I've never really been afraid