I've Been Waking Up Without You Lately

I’ve been waking up without you lately.

I used to wake up with the taste of your name on my lips, almost as if I were repeating it over and over in my sleep.

I used to wake up with a cold right hand because you always reached for my left.

Now, I wake up with his lips meeting mine, as if that’s how it was always supposed to be.

Now, I wake up with two warm hands because he hates to see me even the slightest bit cold.

I’ve been waking up without you lately.

A broken heart being mended slowly by tough hands.

Hands belonging to a man who didn’t break me, but is man enough to fix me.

I’ve been waking up without you lately.

While he’s always been perfect to me, for awhile you were still the first thought when I opened my eyes, now you’re not there.

Sometimes I search, reaching out into the dawn for foggy memories dancing like smoke in my mind.

It never really sank in.

"Goodbye," never felt final coming from your mouth.

And so far, it hasn't been. You always pop up in ways I don't expect.

A Honda Civic, a Bluejays hat, that stupid song. They all make me flinch.

Everyone says you'll never forget your first love but no one ever tells you how much you'll want to.

Even if I wanted to welcome you back, I couldn't.

I've been waking up without you for a reason, because I've been falling asleep next to him.

The pain is still here though and I don't think it ever will fade.

It drives my pen to move and drives me past the place we used to park.

All I know is, while I may be waking up without you lately..

I never forget to say goodnight.