I Still Remember

I still remember that very first meet,

The first laugh, the first word, the first step, the first fall,

A little hand reaching for mine,

A tiny voice hollering in glee, learning to crawl,

That innocent smile,

The achievements both big and small.

**

I still remember the years we lived, laughed and loved,

The growing pains and lessons taught,

The early morning and late nights, the darkness and imaginary terrors,

The heartbreaks and tears fraught,

Memories made, secrets uncovered, miles travelled,

Change in seasons, wisdom whispered and illnesses caught.

**

I still remember that I was doing my best, trying my damndest,

I relive every mistake, every regret, everything I did not know,

My greatest fears faced, my heart in the right place,

The highest of highs, the lowest of lows,

I gave it my all while treading water in the dark,

And when necessary I was the first to eat crow.

**

And still I failed, still I was horribly flawed; imperfect,

Broken and battered, bruised and unsure,

Sleepless nights taken in stride, responsibilities mine alone,

No-one had my back, but my intentions were pure,

Every day a battle of wits, always alert, on guard,

Terrified and insecure.

**

If I could rewrite that fatal flaw,

Turn back the clock,

Know what I know now — do things differently,

The outcome would be a little gentler, not such a heart-wrenching shock,

The door still open, the regret a little less torturous,

The evil web weaved — maybe, just maybe, a little easier to untangle and unlock.