I Scream at the World

I scream at the world because I'm often misunderstood.

Like....countless of others.

It's not a battle of who has it worst.

Because our storms differs.

Yours may be physical whereas mine is mental.

I scream at the world because....you see...grey clouds were created.

By those I had trusted. Those that I had once loved.

I took those grey clouds and formed lightning with my overthinking.

Thunder with my depression.

Which caused the very raging storm that lives within me.

I scream at the world because no matter how much I try to tame myself.

I erupt all over again.

I know that I control my emotions, but you see....empaths can't do that.

Your moods or vibes affects mine.

I could be fine, but you come around and now I'm out of whack.

I scream at the world because I wear many faces.

So many, that I'm often confused of who I really am.

I want to get out, but I can't break through those the mold of layers.

Layers that took years for me to build.

So, I just give up.

I scream at the world because I refuse to let you in.

You see a part of me that I'm willing to share.

But, there's a part that I wouldn't dare.

Not that it's bad.

I just don't trust you.

Like a sponge, I absorb all of your mannerism.

Even the ones that you try to hide.

Besides writing words on paper, I have a talent of seeing past your veil.

You see, life taught me that trick.

But, it also taught how to be rough, heartless, and that bish....

I scream at the world because I'm disconnected from your reality.

I don't see things the way that you do.

It doesn't mean that I'm empty.

Or that I'm right and you're wrong.

It means that....I don't care.

You haven't given me a reason to.

They say, pretend or fake it.

Be less you.

Why?

Because they can't handle it? Or don't want to?

Then why should I put on a show for you?

I scream at the world....because I need to hear myself.

Over the pain that I can't spit out.

Because nobody is listening.

And I won't allow them to see me....weak.

So, I smile and laugh.