I put cartoons on for myself again

I wake up

no one makes me breakfast.

I put cartoons on for myself again.

I ask my friends to come over -

- They’re all really busy -

I don't understand why know one will play with me.

-

When I try to find people to care for me -

it gets confusing and wrong.

Because they want a partner or a friend -

and I need a mommy.

I start to get scared and lonely.

I need someone to take care of me.

At the same time I know I am asking too much.

No one wants to be my mommy, and I don't blame them.

-

I reach out for help -

- I cry and beg for help -

I don't understand why no one seems to care.

Doctors and friends and family and social workers and helpers and adults -

all the people I'm supposed to ask for help.

They all end up leaving me alone -

crying.

A little kid trapped in the life of an adult.

- I put cartoons on for myself again -

Author's note: I wrote this during a time when I was in the depths of CPTSD and experiencing age regression and emotional flash backs daily. Writing this poem helped me to process what I was feeling and transmute it to into healing. If you're in a similar place, know you are not alone, and it will get better. I promise.