I Pay Forever For the Choice I Made

The past still whispers everything I’ve lost.

I strive to efface the memories that won’t fade.

I pay forever for the choice I made.

They lied—freedom arrives,but always at a cost.

With every wound, I sharpened my rage’s blade.

The past still whispers everything I’ve lost.

You fractured my self-worth with each boundary crossed.

I told you I knew how it felt already to be betrayed.

I pay forever for the choice I made.

Into the abyss, what we had has been tossed.

A soul entombed where my mistakes are laid.

The past still whispers everything I’ve lost.

It tells me endlessly it’s my fault,

That I have no right to be afraid.

I pay forever for the choice I made.

It won’t permit me peace, however much I exhaust;

It says loves speaks in curses, never fair in trade.

The past still whispers everything I’ve lost.

I pay forever for the choice I made.

This villanelle is my mediation of regret. The kind of regret that clings to memory and refuses to let go of you. The repeating lines mirror how the past echoes in our minds, reminding us that every choice has a cost. I wanted to capture the way guilt lingers like a whisper, transforming into a voice we struggle to silence.