I’m trying to bite my tongue

Sometimes I get so angry that I wish I could make a shit ton of money the kind of money you say you’ll make one day

I actually don’t care about money you know this but you used those green jackals against me like an alligator grinning wildly

At its prey, beckoning to inch closer.

You used me until I was about dead

I wasn’t shot in the head but I was internally bleeding in my wrists, lungs and legs, I had to quickly recover my death over so you could say you’re a good person for not hitting me for a month,

And at least you’re not hitting me everyday

Now you “changed” but I feel short changed by your delay

Why did it take so much time did you think you could just get your hands on me and I’d never stop you?

I bite my tongue every single slight, bruise and hit

I pretend your words and silent cruelty is just time on hold, a hug on hold

Instead I just wish I’ll make it big enough to be alone

So time can be all mine again.