I'm Still Surprised
(This Is Me)
I got a 4-year old girl, she’s laughing, sitting in the bathroom, playing with toys
The news anchor in the background, he’s just white noise
What’s it matter to her who’s elected?
She don’t care what the supreme court said
Gotta pick her up, read her a book, kiss scraped knees
Gonna spend lunch singing some ABCs
Talking bout roe vs wade, the token words we make
But she’s playing pirates with her sister, stealing a fortune
She ain’t got no fear of needing abortion
Birth control sounds like some kind of misfortune she’d cast
Dressed up as a witch, not yet some bitch
For wanting autonomy, for wanting real choice
Freedom from religion, yeah that’s just white noise
She’ll start school at five, at fifteen, she’ll learn to drive
She’ll do book reports, go to senior prom
No class for sex-ed, her rights are gone
Those are for the good ‘ol boys
She’s got ketchup, hula hoops, the little joys
Yeah, all the rest don’t matter, that’s just white noise
—
One more blow, one more fight, I’m laughing
I’m trying, keeping hope
Eroding slow, one more cause, one stand too long
Dinnertime politics, the latest Disney song
Please don’t let me get it wrong
Birthday parties, the electric bill was high
Listening to the news at work, surprised I’m not surprised
Booking dance classes, baking gluten-free
Writing works of fiction, thinking this is me
This is me, yeah yeah, this is me
—
My 10-year old chopped off her curls, spiked her hair
Rainbow flag unfurled, she says she’s queer
Wants validation, wants everyone to hear
Gen-Z don’t know fear
With pronouns clear, she says the struggle is over
But my job is to teach her, preach to her, how do I make it reach to her
Take away pride, make her feel, that across the whole country
You turn on the news, that’s no rainbow, that’s shades of blue hypocrisy
Slapped over the bigotry, no room for no leniency, she’s only ten
But if she don’t fight, she won’t have those rights, and already you see
Gay parents stripped from kids they raised, hazed, both sides unfazed
Do we protest, she asks?
Shit kid, I got bills to pay, turn on TV, watch some comedy
Could be the remedy, just pray it’s not one that bashes on the gays or the woke
Don’t worry, alphabet folks, it’s just a joke, don’t be so sensitive
Yeah, gay sure isn’t what people said
—
One more blow, one more fight, I’m laughing
I’m trying, keeping hope
Eroding slow, one more cause, one stand too long
Wednesday backyard slip-n-slide, history of genocide
My kids know all the textbooks lie
Anxious about holidays, running out of ice
Closing social media, surprised I’m still surprised
Reminders about homework, cutting limbs off a tree
Binging Modern Family, thinking this is me
This is me, yeah yeah, this is me
—
Another kid, near 15, so old, so wise
Swear words, sex jokes, rolling their eyes
They don’t like kid, that’s non-binary youth
Good for them, louder, louder, gotta speak the truth
They worry about the future, I feed them optimistic lies
But CNN comes on, they sit beside me, see me cry
They cry too, it’s all fine, they text me memes late at night
Mocking racists and politicians out spamming pro-life
I bring up college, they’ve got no interest in the interest
Yeah, guess they do tune in and listen
At dinner, cracking jokes, don’t say gay, red-state child brides
There’s laughter in their voice, but rebellion in their eyes
They vacuum their room, speech therapy on zoom
Spend their money on a rug, come ask me for a hug
Won’t buy corporate rainbows, teaches stonewall to their sisters
Tells every adult they know to go vote this November
Playing games, on a Discord call, telling friends to each the rich
Throw some bricks, yeah the country's gotta fall
—
One more blow, one more fight, I’m laughing
I’m trying, keeping hope
Eroding slow, one more cause, one stand too long
Preteen pushing passion, never standing down
Enby youth who won’t be silent, isn't bitter
Who will be the one to burn the system to the ground?
A giggling, dorky child, the smallest of my three
I hear her siblings protecting her future, I’m thinking this is me
This is me, yeah yeah, this is me
Thinking this is me, yeah yeah, this is me
About the Creator
Spencer Reaves
Storyteller. That’s all.
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