I'm Sorry

I remember swimming back to the surface of consciousness

As I lay bruised and beaten upon my teenager's bed

Seeing myself as if from a distance never to be the same again

______________________

Violation and violence come in all shapes and can have many faces

That strip away your self esteem and send you crashing

Onto the rocks of despair crying out in pain the single word why

______________________

That particular fall day I lost something I have since never found

That burgeoning young person poised on the cusp of new life

Waiting to discover all the joys and possibilities the world had to offer

______________________

Something broke inside me even though this was not my first time

But it was the first time I'd ever been assaulted by a man

Though that term in retrospect does not seem to apply

______________________

For a man would not behave with such disregard for a girl's well being

The consequence did not fit the crime nor was the lesson learned

People you were supposed to trust having proven themselves wanting

______________________

Instead of understanding, compassion and guiding a child

Pounding and pummeling someone into submission will always fail

To believe this could somehow positively impact a child is insane

______________________

If the tables were turned how could anyone expect to survive

Carrying the baggage of violence on their back for eternity

Stripped of self respect and locking away love and trust

______________________

My life took a different path from that day forward as I saw

First hand the abusive impact twisted people can have on lives

Without so much as a glimmer of remorse or a hint of guilt

______________________

While they go on and never seem to look back at their actions

The abused goes forward with a soul torn into two pieces

Seeking to forgive but most importantly somehow to forget

______________________

Lifetimes can be changed in the blink of an eye

Parents and mentors have that much power over their wards

Shame on those that mistake their privilege as a source of power

______________________

It is true that children are resilient and can survive unspeakable traumas

But something that cuts is sharp and will undoubtedly leave a scar

Bruises may heal but the ache and their hue the body remembers

______________________

Wishing things hadn't happened the way they did is time wasted

Life is unsurpassed moments of beauty and those of undiluted pain

Sadly the bad sometimes carry more weight than the good

______________________

Moving on is a positive step that one can eventually learn

Even knowing that a person who did the unthinkable walks on

Without a seed of guilt and without thought for the pain inflicted

______________________

God help us but we want the smallest two words that anyone could utter

"I'm sorry" would be a balm of healing on the unclosed wounds

For all who have suffered abuse at the hands of another

______________________

Rare it is that a person so grievously wronged will ever hear those words

Look to your salvation in who you become and what you do instead

In desperation I adopted my mantra for them in "I feel sorry for you"

______________________

Abuse takes on many forms and is rarely as invisible as we pretend

People know what they see but instead turn away or close their mind

Leaving the aggrieved to fend for themselves against the devil they face

______________________

My experiences made me indeed who I am and gave me strength

Yet if I had to live through it all again, I doubt that I would have the stamina

To come out on the other side of the hopelessness and helplessness

______________________

For those who suffered or suffer even now I will say I am with you

In mind and even in body remembering the pain of something endured

In spite of those who cannot say it I say to you "I'm sorry; I'm sorry for your loss"

About the Author

I am Joseline Burns. I am a big fan of fantasy and horror movies, science, and psychology. I am a teacher, who can you help with your research paper, with over nine years of experience in the educational field. I also led a blog for five years. I have many hobbies and I can write about everything.