I’m Not Okay

I am not okay. Can’t you see I’m in agony. Don’t you see the sad in me?

I keep enduring tragedy. I’ve gone from sad to mad and now it breeds bad in me.

I act like I’m not in pain. Really tryna be tough.

I try my best to do better. Yet it’s never enough.

I’m coming up on 32 years of age and still I’m carrying rage.

From being unable to turn the page from trauma that keeps me in a cage.

Every time I choose a better path I lose a better half.

The spirit beyond the eyes laces me with its wrath.

I’m tired of holding it together as if nothing can phase me.

Too much loss and death. I feel like I’m going crazy.

I keep looking for something I should believe in.

Only thing I see is repetition from my demons.

My heart knows not content. Only greed inside.

On the out you see no wounds, but I bleed inside.

No matter how many test I pass the devil keeps trying me.

I can’t get a decent night of rest without anxiety.

I never asked for the heat, but still I keep frying.

My family is not all dead but still keeps dying.

I don’t want this pain of life to deepen and worsen.

I feel like one day it’s gonna make me a terrible person.

Listen loud and clear to the words I’m about to say.

I’m not okay. I’m not okay. Stop asking…I’m not okay.