I'm (Not) Alright

When you ask, "How are you?"

And I respond, "I'm alright"

Please know I'm not

Very often, I'm not

I'm just not alright

I'm often tired, stressed, anxious, depressed

I'm often carrying the past, the sins, errors

While trying not to trip up, land on my face

While trying not to give in to the intrusive

When they haunt me, I know I can be good

But, it's honestly so hard at times

Trying to convince others I'm actually of any value

Can be tricky when I'm not even sure I believe it

Most of the time. There are times, for sure, but

Most of the time. I'm wavering... I'm ebbing out

So many things plague me, and that's not a plea

That's not a woe-is-me, that's just hard facts

We all are a little like that; I believe

Have our snapping point, our point break

When enough is enough and when we feel

So unworthy of anything, despite the load

We carry without even thinking to just let it go

Sometimes I don't wash for days, and that's bad

But the alternative is a naked version of myself

I don't even want to face and then the cold snap

Sometimes I forget my pills and then suffer

Sometimes I take my pills and still suffer

There is a never-ending cyclical diodrama

With ups, downs, left, rights

Forwards, two steps backwards

So, yes, I'm alright

But I'm not alright

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: Stream of consciousness poem. But, honestly, I'm alright. As there is no way of you really knowing whether I am telling the truth or not, you're kinda screwed? Right, but here are a few funny clips you can watch and enjoy with me:

If LOTR is not really your thing, here is another: