I'm not 14 anymore

I’m not 14 anymore

Is it in the way I dress?

I got over the crop top and mesh.

Or perhaps how I speak?

Well, I barely chat — guess I was full of mystique

My treasured books, my beloved band — I no longer talk of the same topic.

The weight of what’s to come, the ghosts of what’s forsaken

They’re the new verses that awaken

I’m not 14 anymore

When was the last time I saved my bias’s photo?

How long has it been since I watched their video?

I can’t remember, I lost that FOMO

I’m no longer the teenage girl

Living on tweets, streams and votes are where worries swirl

Life happened, things swerved

I have drifted from my own little world

I’m not 14 anymore

Is it how I carry my mind’s weight?

I crossed teenage angst, but crisis is on my plate

I survived and I’m surviving

That concert that once kept me breathing?

I saw it thrice, in moments of fleeting

And suddenly, it hits me — I’m not 14 anymore

I found my naive self lifeless, the dreamer in me hopeless

I didn’t want a future, but I spoke of it in hope

I want a future, but I see mists in my scope

I know more, but I had more sapience

Is it my innocence?

I lost my spark, but I was full of it

I gained back my spark, but I don’t have a single bit.

Does it make sense?

I don’t know, I’m not 14 anymore.