I'm Afraid of Not Being Enough
On the Cost of Always Being the Strong One

I am afraid of not being enough.
That is the central fact of this poem.
I am afraid that my work is not good enough.
I am afraid that my effort is not impressive enough.
I am afraid that the person I am is not sufficient for the life I want.
...
This fear affects my decisions.
It makes me hesitate before I speak.
It makes me rewrite messages several times before sending them.
It makes me compare myself to people who seem more confident, more successful, or more secure.
...
I do not want to feel this way.
I want to believe that I am adequate as I am.
I want to trust that growth does not require self-rejection.
I want to accept that mistakes do not cancel my value.
...
Sometimes I work too hard because I think achievement will solve this fear.
Sometimes I avoid trying because I think failure will confirm it.
Both reactions come from the same concern: I do not want to be dismissed, ignored, or judged as lacking.
...
This is not about humility.
It is not about ambition.
It is about worth.
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I want to feel that my presence matters.
I want to know that I do not need to prove my right to exist in every room I enter.
I want to stop measuring my value by outcomes.
...
I am afraid of not being enough.
I am stating it clearly because avoiding the sentence has not made it disappear.
About the Creator
Ajan Lori A.
My mind screams, I write!
(Author exploring education, identity, human behavior, life between cultures, business and entrepreneurship)
Find my writing on Medium: https://medium.com/@loriaa
My books on amazon: amazon.com/author/loriaa
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