I Lose You All Over Again

I never truly understood grief

Until I had to

I have parted ways with many

But it wasn't until you

Until seeing the words there

Displayed upon my phone's screen

My surroundings blurred

Like out of a movie scene

Your mom told me the news

And I couldn't comprehend

Her words stared back at me

Passing through me like sand

Of an hourglass that had stopped

Yet still kept time

Struggled on what to say

Except for one line

"No

No

No

No

No

No

No"

Seven times

It started rushing over me

As it started settling in

Felt the weight of it crushing me

Knowing we reached an end

We always said, "Besties forever!"

But I didn't think forever would cease

Flooded with bittersweet memories

As I felt the panic increase

Steadily my voice cracked

As a scream escaped me

And the walls inched closer

Making it hard to breathe

It all happened so fast

But I still couldn't move

You were someone I never

Thought I would lose

It still follows like a creeping shadow

And crashes into me like waves

It stills me in my tracks

As I push through to better days