I know I understand.

I know…

It’s been hard, you’ve been trying, exasperation is always just below the surface. I know the pain is great and the past still hurts. I know the future seems dark always dark there is no light. I know you are weary tired of doing this on your own.

I know….

I understand…

I understand the struggle. I understand what it feels like to think you are never going to feel happiness. To think that you will never have peace of mind. To be constantly reminded, constantly questioning why me? Why did they do this to me? What did I do wrong?

I understand...

I know…

I know you still suffer nightmares, and still jump at every creak in the night. I know you struggle with feeling like you are worthless and like no one could love someone like me. I know you lay awake at night questioning your own sanity, wondering how many more days, weeks, months, years will I have to deal with this?

I know…

I understand…

I understand that feeling of inadequacy, that feeling of not being human. That feeling like a piece of your soul is missing, and you will never get it back. I understand not wanting to try another relationship. only for it to end in another blow to your emotional wellbeing and self-esteem.

I understand…….

I know…

I know the trauma hurt you. I know when your innocence was stolen your dreams became stagnated and your world crumbled. I know it feels like no one will ever be able to fix the void that pain and trauma brings. I know that you want to give up but the will to live is just too strong and you can’t let them win.

I know…

I understand…

I understand the hurt the child in you still carries, the broken places deep within your soul. I understand. the burden being traumatized can bring. I’ve been there I feel you I share your grief and pain. I want to tell you it gets better I want to tell you it gets easier I want to tell you one day it will all magically go away but I can’t. It will still be there, but it will not win.

I understand…

I know…

I know tomorrow seems too far away and the night is just too long. I know your soul longs to breath, freedom, peace, and hope. I know you feel like no one knows what it is like to feel the icy hands of your memory climb up your spine, to invade your thoughts and wreak your mind again. I know you want some relief I know you want strength and peace.

I Know…

I understand….

I understand that there is a jewel more precious than rubies, more valuable than gold. I understand it’s value, I relish in its beauty. I understand the sacrifice the win’s and loses along the way. I understand the cost I way it always. I understand how brilliant this jewel shines its existence transcends space, relativity, and time. It is more sought after than Blue Diamonds that cost millions to own. It is the greatest gift this world will ever know. I understand the pain of life has caused some spots to fade. And some of its shimmer may not shine as bright today. But it’s the jewel I seek, the gift that I must find.

The hurt broken traumatized child you hold inside. It is more precious to me than rubies, more important to me than anything else. Without it I can not hope to be free myself. I am your sister, your friend, your support, your strength , you help and your place to be free. The only thing I want to do it tell is give you this one hope. Through all that you have endured, and all the pain you’ve felt. Through all the nights of crying and days of wanting to hide away from this cruel heartless world. The rarest most beautiful thing in this world is a soul that learns to breathe again in freedom from the hurt of your past. You are rare, you are beautiful, you are more than enough you are a jewel to me..