I Killed My Dad And Got Away With It

I hate that you even put me in that position

But as you passed

I can only pray it was a peaceful transition.

Congestive Heart Failure is what you had

But it's not what killed you

What choice did I have?

I didn't have one actually

Not even a prayer

When that nurse called me.

"Your father is in a coma"

"His heart beat is irregular"

"If we're even able to stabilize it he won't come home the-

Normal man that he was before this."

I wanted to fight for you

I wanted to give it a shot

Take the chance they could bring you back to me

But that I could not.

For I remember the dozen times

You made me swear up and down

If ever you lay there like a vegetable

I had to promise I'd put you down.

I honestly never imagined that day would come

As I came to say my last goodbye

I looked down at your hand I held and I started to cry

Because tattooed on it in bold letters "DNR"

"Do Not Resuscitate"

Why God Why?

Why was that burden my choice to make...

Did you not question if I had the strength it would take?

I didn't.

I just could not break my promise to you.

It's been a few years now

I'm still mad at you.

People tell me not to feel guilty

But how can I not

What if you could have made it

If I'd have broke my word and given you a shot?

I'm still mad at you.

But I very much still miss you too.

Your Rosebud.

Your support means a lot, thank you!