I Hate Myself

I care about nothing

I care about everything

The world may as well stop,

And let me off

So that I can get back on again

To try one more time.

Only to be faced with adversity

And to hate myself some more.

Let me out of my head.

Get me away from these thoughts.

"Be Kind To Yourself!"

How do you do that?

How do I do that?

I have no idea.

I am kind and gentle to everyone, except myself.

I batter myself daily, I hate the world I live in.

But I am so lucky.

And I know this.

But my brain won't let my heart feel it.

My mind is rioting inside me.

Outside I smile.

Outside I'm composed.

You see someone who has "got their life together."

But inside I am just trying to drown out the voices.

Drown out the screams.

Telling myself I'm a failure because I can still hear them in the distance.