I Had A Love Story With A Song

I really thought someone loved me and he knew I was writing a love song. I actually thought I was capable of living within a real life romantic comedy in college, because I was still so young and rebellious to counter- love stories. I wrote this song for him after he nudged me and winked for the song. He did come to the open mic night alone. I played the song.

We never got together, and I believe to this day that it was a strange tragic shame that we were both intending to get together, but then even after that the real world love story wasn't effective in reality.

At the time, there were real love songs on the radio, and people were also starting to over- play the anti-fantasy song, I forget the name, but it was about no more happy endings. It was the innocent romance and counter "nah nah," kind of poetic tease against love songs age, but it was right around the time that love songs seemed to have lost intensity, (or at least it was for me).

It was a time when songs were about torment and monsters vs. emotionally evocative hope filled passionate reasons to believe and to believe in love.

I just remember thinking that I was like Robby Heart from "The Wedding Singer," and this guy was like my Julia in this reverse gender role real world play, and I wanted it to work that way in the real world.

In the name of love: this song was written at a time when the world was pure, ready for true love, and willing to open it's heart. It wasn't just me, it was in 2010, it was at the end of April. I remember it was a day late from my prediction of life changing forces from an astrological response online: of April 27th. (I was 20). I am now 31 and almost 32.

Carpe Diem

"Well a breeze blew across the ocean, and it made a mist.

But let me tell you man, you've only seen the surface.

I know you can't look at the ocean without feeling small,

but when the ocean sees the sky it won't matter at all,

Even when the clouds bring down the rain, and the water puts out our flame,

our steam will rise into the sky again,

so rise with me, and carpe diem,

I'll be a flame beneath a vine that's growing towards the sky,

if you light me, up, I'll climb up to you.

Even when the clouds bring down the rain, and the water puts out our flame,

our steam will rise into the sky again,

so rise with me, and carpe diem,

yeah...

Was it mapped out in the stars or did we write it in the sand?

All I know is that you're right for me, so please stand."

It was a beautiful song. I sang it with all the passion and belief in the world like a girl without a broken heart at 20 would.

It was bitter sweet because he was the sky to my ocean, and we never got together or even made it a serendipity.

I later went on to having composers block and writing very little in the name of plain writing with a B.A. in English Education, and even an M.F.A. in Screen Writing. All the while hoping to one day overcome, and at least be able to write romantic comedies anyway and other cute love stories... but all the while with other tragedies effecting me and all my blocks.

I have long since, built my heart around cold harsh strict reality, and lost a sense for good love and devotion. I have long since let everything in the world that I cared about go... as a true hopeless romantic for an entire era in my life.

I was listening to music... and after having listeners block, readers block, writers block, composers block, and every love of art block in creating or even appreciating for years after living with heart block, hope block, and love block.

I wanted to live behind real large blocks....

Now, I'm writing little music reviews and dawning a new era of ending blocks for the love of really valuable art (in all it's forms), and in reality, loving myself for who I am a truly love worthy passionate creative multi-talented individual.

It's funny how it was just for review writing change on a website called "slice the pie" and I was putting myself in critic shoes, and decided to open up my heart a little for a song... and it was because the music started appealing to me while I was also being asked to really listen (so I could write a review).

Listening to the music opened my heart to both appreciating music and myself as a writer after 12 years, and that's a magic number because it's the hour of Cinderella.

It was tragic, poetically unjust in the name of love, and sweet resolution to a broken heart to play my keyboard keys while listen like I used to do with my fingers on a piano, or recall the playing of my music, the sounding out of my own vocals, the soulful wish to inspire passionately, evoke emotion, become remarkable as a musician, and to write my own lyrics, astound, and encourage as an artist.

My re-building has only just begun as an inspiration enthusiast, and an enthusiast for writing in the name of justice in love, virtue, humanity, and evoking emotions and provoking logical enlightening thoughts... and rebuilding belief in love.