I don't want

I don’t want

To have to keep saying no

So stop offering

I don’t want

To have to pretend to laugh

So stop joking

I don’t want

To turn down the invites

So stop including

I don’t want

To say I’m fine and lie to your face

So stop asking

I don’t want

To leave the only place I feel safe for even a moment

So stop suggesting

I don’t want

To fake feeling good natured and have to be kind against my will

So stop needing

I don’t want

This hurt or this darkness or this meanness or this bitter, twisted mess that robs me of my smile and makes a miser of me that convinces me in my bed is safer than out no matter how brightly the sun is shining inside my heart is midnight

And I don’t want it

So stop me.

©Angela Holmes

https://www.samaritans.org/