i did, i did, i did

My goodness the way I waited for my golden hair to shine

The way the scriptures promised, I studied every line

My knees bruised from the floorboards, I prayed there every night  

My trembling hands stayed folded, I was to be divine 

My porcelain hands are muddied, I’d dug myself a grave

Burying the broken parts and painting over stains 

Reciting Psalms of David, preaching seas of grace

All while scuffing out the bruises on my knees that would remain

I knelt before the least of these, I fed the gnawing dog

I followed every manuscript and marveled at its law 

I gave my shoes and did not limp ‘til every eye was gone

Evening fell,  I scrubbed my feet until my soles were raw

A snarl comes from my stomach, I pacify her needs 

I put a muzzle on her groans and pluck out all her teeth

My flesh will rot within itself but I shall feast on peace

I punish every want in me, so gold may crown the beast

Until on one fateful morning, a scream comes from my bed

I fall onto my knees, still bruised from prayers i’d said

I’d suffered for atonement and knew to break the bread

But the sun glows softly off my head of red, red, red