I Can’t Stop

I.

Can’t.

Stop.

I can’t stop breathing I can’t stop needing

Under the pressure reeling!

This pressure my head kneading

My migraine's not receding -

Momma help me

Pacify my urges

Finding strength to go on splurges

That I can’t afford lest

It hastens funeral dirges -

Oh don’t tell Pops

He’ll never understand this

Promise I was just trying to find some bliss

Too bad the package lied

And pain hid under that sweet sweet kiss -

I didn’t mean to choose

To kill myself this way

Losing light every passing winter day

Oh Mercy give me one more hit

I’ll quit tomorrow without delay -

I know it’s bad

I’ve made myself a liar

Too, but a really good buyer

I didn’t know this type of life

Would slave me to a dealer -

Can’t go home so here

I stand too proud to beg for change

But I can be a touch deranged

Please don’t mind me

Standing on the highway interchange -

I can’t stop this racing

Wondering creeping feeling

Stuck in my own mind kneeling begging

Wishing I wasn’t always reeking retching

Slowly starving my life not guarding -

Promise I’ll be better

Give me a shot to do it over

Help me, this illness to takeover

Before my body is set

Down to feed the field clover -

I can’t stop or pick

Myself up from this place

I know all up in your space

As if all these cars were

In some type of interstate race -

Did I apologize enough in life

Or is one more time in the obituary

A prerequisite or simply arbitrary

For you to be sure my mom can

Be there when my body they bury?