I Can Only Hear You When My Eyes Are Closed

i can only hear you when my eyes are closed. when the black fills my vision and i can imagine you sitting next to me, humming. you look at me for a while, but i'm looking at the sky. looking at you hurts too much. sooner or later i have to face you, i know. but for now, i want to let you play with my hair and watch me watching the sky. you laugh and i feel you turn your head to the sky too. i turn towards you now. still watching the sky. still humming. i trace your face with my eyes. i memorize the feel of your skin. i try to indent it in my mind so i never forget. i never want to forget. i want your touch with me always. i'm still watching you. you're still watching the sky. you stopped humming so i hum now. something you know. i stare at you hard, trying to read your mind. maybe i can memorize that too. your thoughts. i keep humming, you'll recognize the song. you keep watching the sky for a little. finally you turn to look at me, meeting my eyes. you smile. a sad smile. that stays in my mind too. you trace my face with your eyes. i can feel them. i look at the sky now. the sky is where i'll go when i miss you.