I Am Going to Be Okay Again

With you, I saw things like

Oversized tee shirts and an apartment together

And your roommate telling us we were too loud in bed

I saw things like adventures and sunsets and reckless kisses in your backseat

I saw things like flowers on my front porch

And my messy hair when we had sex

Now, without you, I see things like curling up on my best friend’s lap

I see things like reading naked on the floor for hours

I see things like tea and farmers markets and flowers I bought for myself

I see things like kissing boys I don’t know

And taking nude photos of myself and then deleting them.

I see things like learning how to cook and buying a kitten and taking online courses

Without you, I see self care and self healing.

Without you, I see friendship’s power and a woman’s motivation and a family’s love.

Without you, I remember all the things I forgot

When I forgot to think about anything

But you.