Human

You’re in my car humming our song,

I’m sitting on the pavement staring at the crystal sky,

You tattooed a star on your wrist,

Because it reminded you of me,

It’s the coffee shop besides the oak that always humbled me before,

It was the smell of the hills when it rains,

When the dew drops made the grass look like it was laced with diamonds,

When your cat crawled into my lap on the Wednesday nights,

Little things that made me feel human,

Little things I couldn’t live with anymore,

I tattooed a knife on my wrist,

Because it reminded me of you,

Soft voices drifting from one ear to another while I lay silent in bed,

Whispering secrets to me,

Dangerous secrets I beg them not to say,

And of course the coffee shop i went to Burnt down last week,

Of course the wildfires ripped through the hills and it’s swaying grass,

And of course the voices told me I deserved it,

Just like I deserved to watch my friends plan my murder,

Like I wasn’t even there,

Sitting with them in the ruins of the coffee shop by the oak tree,

Little things I lost so willingly,

The diamonds in the grass and the hand you gave me to hold,

They told you to let go,

I know I’ll never be good enough for him or myself,

I can pretend though,

I can pretend to be sitting with my friends in the coffee shop,

I can pretend to walk in the grass,

Feeling diamonds on my fingertips,

I can pretend to be happy,

I find new little things again to humble me,

Again and again until I feel human again.