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How to Reset?

If only a life could be so easily reset as our modern day technology.

By Danielle Elizabeth AndrewsPublished about a year ago 3 min read
2
How to Reset?
Photo by Vladislav Bychkov on Unsplash

I hate you so much for all that you’ve done

And all that you haven’t.

Nearly seven years wasted,

For what?

No reason other than your sick, sadistic, selfish whim.

.

Every time I set a boundary, you’ve overstepped.

Asked for your honesty and your respect.

You completely disregarded it in favor of drawing me back in.

Pretending that you cared.

Claiming I was your future.

.

It was nothing but one massive lie.

A deception.

Total manipulation.

You never loved me and you certainly don’t love our children.

Neither of these things is in your capability.

.

You’re a toxic, poisonous soul.

I wish for nothing more now than to erase your role

Cut the ties of your control.

My mind races, memories slowly flooding back in

I shudder and cry out.

Please couldn’t we have stopped before the moment it all begins?

The moment you entered my orbit,

Was the beginning of my end.

.

I’ve torn out my heart

During so many nights that I cried

Spread my cards out before you,

Thought I needed you by my side.

Love should never feel like this;

As though the person I was, she’s finally died.

My hopeful nature was crushed and thrown far off to the wayside.

.

It hurts so bad.

No cure appears to ease or subside.

Why in the hell did you drag me along on your torturous rollercoaster ride?

All I did was love you,

Now my heart is shattered, charred.

.

Feels as if my very soul has withered and died.

There was nothing I could do…

No words to fix you, to make you want to do right.

At the end of it all, I’ve lost my will to fight

You tossed us away, so readily and with such might.

There’s no f*cking way that you could ever make this right.

No, not when you treat me as though I were simply a blight.

.

I gave you my heart.

Accepted you into my world.

With a toxic flick, you drew me in, and around your finger, I was twirled.

I knew you were broken, aren’t we all in some way?

But you made me believe in you, in all the promises of which you’d spoken.

.

I’ve longed for those days when you gazed at me with such devotion.

Held me tightly with such words, treasured, soft-spoken.

Our days and our nights together,

Never did I think there was a storm we couldn’t weather.

You promised forever, upon my finger would be a token

Worthy of love such as ours, were the words you’d sweetly spoken.

.

Now it seems only fitting that such a rock

It was never to appear.

For I was deceived by you,

That has been made abundantly clear.

Someone who only has ever cherished his ….

Your one prized possession which you’ve held oh so dear.

Of course, you’d put a ring on THAT.

It’s where your only loyalty lies.

Had no idea that every word you uttered was an absolute crock.

Forever promising me an invisible ring for our nonexistent love.

.

Yet why does it still hurt?

Why does my heart tug?

This is the worst kind of sickness,

Can’t be cured with any drug.

You’ve embedded it so deep

Can’t get you out of my system, when I long only to sleep.

You’ve poisoned me against myself.

Programmed me into my own worst enemy.

.

Frantically searching for some way back to me.

Now I search for the manual, frantic to find the reset.

PLEASE! I beseech you, take me back to the day before we met.

If only I could undo, all that you’ve done

And all that you’ll never regret.

. . .

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This poem was originally published on Medium:

heartbreakslam poetry
2

About the Creator

Danielle Elizabeth Andrews

An avid reader who also loves writing about all sorts of things (Life, love, family, books, poetry, the world around us).

Follow me on: Twitter and Medium

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Comments (1)

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  • Jessabout a year ago

    Even as people pass through our lives, the space they held in our lives remains, glad you could find an outlet on here.

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