how do clouds hold the rain?

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could i be a cloud?

i've been raining all year

raining and feeling light

looking up believing

i'll find answers in the sky

at times, i feel relieved

when on purpose,

i numb myself

and i let the air take over

the strings in my body

i sing

i scream

babbling — i lose control

i think of the so many places

my feet could be kissing

the flight that has been

seducing me for so long

how much can you love the ground that held your first steps?

fear mocks my reflection

i barely can see myself

and i rain again — deeper

an ocean took over my chest

filled with silence,

filled with rage

i search for my end

transform into a river

so i can dance with the stones

believe i'm free — could i?

if i've never known freedom,

what for do i want it?

maybe because this

since i'm not a cloud

i call life —

is a stranger to me

as much as to her am i

we don't like each other

so how do i walk away

how do i give her space

how clouds do it —

how do clouds hold the rain?