How a girl disappears

A few statistics:

In the U.S., 1 in 5 girls will experience sexual abuse before turning 18. Globally, about 1 in 8 girls report being raped or sexually assaulted before age 18  and nearly 42% of female rape survivors experienced their first assault before age 18 .

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Start by swallowing the words.

Hold them behind your teeth

until your jaw aches.

Learn to taste blood

when you bite down on "help."

Fold your shoulders inward,

so no one can see the curve of your spine.

Press your knees together so tightly

you forget how to run.

Watch your hands tremble in your lap.

Imagine they belong to someone else —

a girl who still laughs in open fields,

a girl you can’t remember being.

Avoid mirrors.

If you must look, blur your eyes.

Count each bruise like a secret star chart.

Name them after all the apologies

you never got.

Listen for his footsteps,

the door creak, the hush before danger.

Train your body to freeze

before the threat even arrives.

Shrink your voice into a whisper,

then into a silent nod.

An "Okay", when you must

say "yes" without moving your lips.

With each passing day,

forget the taste of birthday cake,

the softness of your favorite stuffed bear,

the way your name used to sound

when someone called it with love.

Make yourself so small

you can slip behind curtains,

into closets,

into the space between heartbeats.

If you do it right,

you’ll become an outline.

A ghost in your own room.

A girl-shaped silence

no one can hear scream.

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Thanks for reading! --Sam