Hoping for Hope

I didn’t know how hopeless I was

until I felt less hopeless.

That realization

was my indication

that the antidepressants were working.

My whole life,

I assumed that hope

was something

we hoped for.

Not something

we actually felt.

I believed that

“What’s even the point?”

was a question that everyone

often wondered.

I thought optimism

was a strategy

for getting through

the day,

and faith

was just a word from the bible.

I never knew

that hope meant

pleasantly awaiting

and planning for

the future.

"Tomorrow” is no longer a word I fear.

And I confuse

hopefullness

with wishful thinking

no more.