Hope in the Hopeless

I haven't had breakfast like this since the world collapsed -

except the world didn't collapse.

I can see both the structure of my life

and its solid foundation holds me up

but there's a mirage that flickers in and out of view.

A mirage where all the pillars have fallen,

the foundation is cracked to pieces

and there's dust floating in the air.

I choke on the life I had

and tears slip past my eyelids

despite having not gotten permission

then suddenly the foundation is a solid mass again.

The mirage has faded,

the nightmare is over?

No, the nightmare has passed.

I want to close my eyes again

and dream of what lies beyond the rainbow.

I want to hope for a dream of sunshine again,

not be confined to these nightmares that plague me.

I want to be hopeful again.