Home

I lived where the stars shine so bright. And where the sun is so hot it melts your skin. Hot on the pavement that sizzles your toes as you try to run fast enough inside. Where the trees do not change colors and the leaves, they don't have to move out in the fall. Then I lived across an ocean. It carried me away so far. It took me to a place where the sun hid sometimes and you didn't hear the birds singing their songs. It took me where the sky would freeze and the leaves would move out in the fall. And the concrete lifestyle, I didn't mean to, but I learned to love. Until one day a hill called and I thought it was ridiculous that this little hill could take me far away from my beloved white city. But somehow I found it dragging me all the way to a place where no noises were around. So quiet--I could hear my mind at work. And the ticking of my heart. And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. But I didn't have time for tears because the ocean called me back again. Yes, all the way back again. And she pulled me and fought me and sat me down in a tiny town where the houses were as big as my old hill. And all the little people cared about was money. But this time, the ocean did not leave me and she lived nearby. I could visit her and she kept me company some days when it all felt like too much. And the streets were clean and it made me feel healthy so I stayed for a while. Until the ocean told me one day "this isn't your place to cherish forever." And even if I cried and told her I wanted this place to be mine, it didn't matter. So it was back to that hill, then all that concrete, with the mold and bugs. Crawling--as if to mock me and my wish to just find the right spot to lay my head. Until finally, it's time to leave again. And the automobile that isn't mine drives me all the way to the darkened forest where the sun shines less and the sky even cries so frequently. This is my place now. Where I sleep up high. Closer to the moon who lets me know everywhere I go I will learn to love. Places are just places until they somehow become more.

I lived in that forest and saw nature grow. I found flowers as big as my head. And the bees did not seem to be dying there. But it was not at all peaceful. There were so many troubles all around me. I seemed to lose focus and my mind seemed to wander away to terrible times. I thought it would be my home for two whole years but when I arrived home for the summer, things had changed. When the ocean calls you, it calls you all the way back. And it was back to that old town that seemed to almost be forgotten in my memories. But just to visit--and not to stay that was what was understood. Until the ocean told me I had to stay but this time not with her. She found me a new place to call home. And I finally knew what it was like to live in a ginormous house. My favorite food was all around me and the people I love the most were so close to me I could reach out and touch them. But I did not want to stay. I had a hope to return to that forest for nothing else but love. And even though love was all around me, away I went. When I reached the forest I realized it has grown cold. I knew my days were leading me to somewhere new. I had to go this time. But this time it was my choice to leave. This time I had to find a place that was really all my own. So I found somewhere I remembered from a dream. Where the sun is hot but not too hot. And the ocean roars right next door. And the flowers grow but not too tall. And I hear the birds singing. They wake me up to remind me of all the beautiful places I’ve called home .

Thank you for taking the time to read my story:) It may not make all that much sense to you but to me, it pieces together my life so I never forget. It was written in two parts. The first part leaves off in the Black Forest of Germany when I was 16 years old. And it carries on to the second part today when I stumbled upon it and decided to update it on what happens next...