Hide and Seek

I keep your photo

In a tiny compartment in my wallet

And sometimes I have to fight the urge

To not stare at it in public

Lest people think I have gone crazy

Even if I have.

I keep your letters

Hidden away among my books

And sometimes I open them and read

And wonder if you remember what you said

And if you meant those words

Though now it doesn’t matter if you didn’t.

I keep your memories

Locked up in my head

And sometimes I view them

From behind my eyelids

And allow myself to smile,

If only 'til the pain of loss hits me again.

But I have let go of your name

Forgotten among the various identities

And stories that I invented around you

As if a shrine built to a deity of yore

And only the whisper of your name

Floats in the vast abyss of my mind.