Help My Baby

The day my one-month-old baby quit breathing

was the worst day of my life and not knowing

what to do. I remember it and can't forget.

It is one day that my memory will never let

me forget. He was turning blue, and I passed him

to his dad, and he passed him right back to me.

And that is how it went, it was so grim.

I was so scared. I passed him back again as we

were heading out of the house, not a clue

passing him and asking what we were to do.

~

A neighbor lady came out of her door

and hollered, "What is going on?" I asked for

her to call an ambulance, and she said, "Run

him to the hospital!" I said thank you, Hon,

and ran him to the hospital, one block

away. When we got there, he was breathing

An hour later, while he was in with the doc,

he had trouble breathing, then he was starting

to stop again, and to the medical center

he went. And all night long, I would enter

the nurses' station to ask about my baby.

~

It was morning when the doctors came to see me

During the night, I asked God to save my baby

to take me instead. I pleaded that I would

do anything. I blamed myself for his not

coming around, and it was because I should

not have decided to try to smoke pot

I didn't take any drugs or drink alcohol,

caffeine, or smoke cigarettes when pregnant

What was wrong with me? It was my downfall

It had been ten months since getting high,

my baby could have died! Why, oh why?

~

That boy is 47 years old now. He

is doing fine, and we found out at two, see

it turns out he was allergic to smoke, and we

have seen him have asthma in his lifetime

With sports, he would get asthma a few times

off and on. After Covid he had asthma.

Me, I got into recovery that very day.

No more smoking pot or cigarettes for Mama.

Recovery is important for me today!

And this is how I remember it!

Over and over and over again... sh-t!