Hello Mr. Alien, and How Do You Do?

Greetings, greetings, so glad we could meet.

It’s a little bit strange, you right here with me.

You must be quite tired, but don't take a seat.

We must travel far to find the first thing you'll see.

When it came to welcoming you, I thought hard and long.

I’m quite unaware of what goes on on your planet.

Do you know a dog? A cat? A vacuum? A bong?

So I asked for advice from my dear old friend, Janet.

She said "There's so much to see, such beauty in nature.

Stay away from the city, avoid all the bustle.

Because if you blow this, the whole world will hate ya."

I thought of the woods, the branches we'd rustle.

I thought about lava, and ants, or a great waterfall.

But you don't want nature. No animals, rocks or trees.

For I've realized there's something that's better than all.

Folks are obsessed with it, despite all the fees.

Those who can't be there are having a cow.

You came all this way, so here you must go.

There is nothing bigger on earth about now,

Than the stadium hosting the Taylor Swift show.