Heavy

I carry the world.

I fix the problems.

I find solutions.

I'm the problem solver.

No one carries me, I carry others.

If I receive help, it comes at a cost.

Why has my world always been so heavy?

I'm told to stay light, don't sound so dark and gloomy.

But you see, I'm shrouded in darkness.

Everything is so heavy here, no one picks up the weight but me.

There is no salvation without a cost.

You're so strong they say.

You've got so much grit.

You're so resilient.

You never back down.

You always get back up.

How do you just keep going?

Don't you see?

Are you blind?

I never had a god damn choice!

I have people who I love very deeply who depend on me.

I can't just give up.

It would be nice to have that choice for once.

To stop and breathe, to mend my wounds,...

To just once have someone to count on

Someone to share the burden that is life.

But I'm just here.

Slowly dying inside a little more every day.

I don't even feel anymore.

I wake everyday and just keep moving.

I'm just going through the motions.

I'm bleeding out.

Dying slowly.

No one to save me.

Is anyone coming?

I hope, I pray to whoever in our beautiful cosmos listening and perhaps caring?

That one day, maybe soon, my load won't be so heavy.

Written on September 30, 2025