Heartbroken

I was in love with a boy, with a kid who was working on becoming a man. He acted, dressed, and looked like one, but he was a boy as I was a girl, waiting to become a woman. Although, before I could become a woman, he threw the whole balance of life around and treated me like the child he said I was. I was in love, with a monster. A monster with a silver tongue, and sharp words as his daggers. A well-mannered monster with the spikiest of hairs, but before I saw this "monster," I saw my love, the love that broke my heart without remorse.

A Letter from Me to You

I lie and say there are no more tears to shed, but just thinking about your name or a memory makes the anger from my heart pump through my veins.

It makes me want to shout, write a poem, draw a picture, cry, and just sleep all at the same time. I do not know how to express this anxious feeling.

All I want is the truth. I want some peace and closure from all the damage you cause over the course of almost five years. I was stupid but in love until I realized I was no longer happy. It was too late because in that time I wasn't the best I could be only the person you wanted me to be and even then I wasn't the best at that.

Now, I do what I want when I want to and I'm happy because of it, I'm free, but these thoughts of you makes me furious. That's when I know I need to breathe and calm down. Relax cause it is in the past. There is no need to think of what could've been and what we would've been if all these bad things didn't happen to us when we could focus on the "now" and better ourselves to come back and realize the we are doing better.

We shouldn't think back to the past and hurt ourselves because if we already went through these difficult times once then there's no need to go through them again. All there's left to do is fight to become better people.

I may sound like a hypocrite because I was the submissive one. I was the one that would ask for help and never take it. I am that girl you'd see sad in the halls and had a small social group. I was the one who everyone knew about not because of her popularity but because of the boyfriend she'd date. I am the broken soul that occasionally lingers through the past, and finds herself hating others and herself, but I can't continue this. I must be happy. I must get better. I must be the girl I wanted to be now. It's never too late.

I seem so positive, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't crying now. I am sad. And I am very depressed as well as suicidal, but then there's are good days where I could at least go a few hours without relating something to my past. But I am hurt. I am broken and also want to fix myself just like you. It is hard, but you still need to try.

There are times where I find myself talking about my experiences and feelings with someone and they can't seem to understand what I went through and the aftermath of it. I find myself running back to you. To the cause of my pain and my solution.

My Thief

There's a shadow that stole my heart.. He's the cause of my pain, but the thief that gave. Made me laugh. Made me cry. Made me smile. Made me feel alive, but also killed me. I died, but what he stole keeps beating. Keeps asking for more. He comes and goes but the pain always stays, but not him. Never long enough for me to come alive.

Masked Lovers

Those lips I once kissed with such passion and excitement are now nothing but full of sadness and dullness.

Those eyes that I once looked upon are now closed by a mystery I can not resolve.

That face that was once full of happiness has turned onto nothing but hate.

Just like the seasons our feelings have changed and you've moved onto new people, and I to better things.

It's funny how we're both so stubborn but it's better to be broken apart than together.

Now, that our mask is gone we are able to know and learn what's really good for us. We are nothing but lovers behind a bag that once covered us.

Beautiful

Beautiful is what you used to call me.

I could see your eyes shining bright whenever you saw me.

I thought you loved me for who I was and not for how I looked now I see that our bodies only touched to love.

Used and played with is how I feel now that you've departure.

You said you saw more than this. You lied.

I thought it was love.

I see that I was wrong.

And I still blame myself for something you begun.

Now I'm ending it.

I can't believe that all you could see was a body fixated in a face.

How could you?

Why would you?

Just leave and do harm no more to this vulnerable and hopeless romantic.

Farewell, my beautiful liar.

Don't Leave Me

"Leave me alone!"

"Why?"

"You know what you did there's no need to repeat that hideous story."

"But I love you.."

"And you like her."

"..."

"See! You're not even denying it."

"Why does it matter?"

"Because it's important. I can't be with you knowing that you'll still like her.. It's just not he same anymore.."

"Well, what will make you happy?"

"Death."

"Something else.."

"Why? You don't care anyway.."

"Yes, I do care. You don't care!"

"If I didn't care I wouldn't be here fighting for your love."

"And if you did love me you wouldn't have done it."

"You pushed me into doing it."

"I can't make you do stuff... You wanted to, so you went ahead and did it."

"I'm done.."

"Okay"

"I hate you!"

"Well, leave if you hate me so much.."

Tears run down from their eyes..they both go a little crazy and softly hit each other with the pillows. Both hurt and tired of all this drama, but they can't seem to let go.. She tried and tried to departure, but can't stay away from him even if she knows that she's not his only love.

He tries to demonstrate affection and love towards the girl, but she blocks him as to not feel any pain...

Both frustrated with one another.. Bruises and cuts. Harmful words flying across the room.

They both yell "Stop."

They stop.

They join together with a kiss

Once again, the tears roll down their cheeks.. Small sobs in between

They lay down and cuddle in bed..

They kiss a finally kiss..

"I love you, flaquito"

"I love you, too, my SiReinita"

"Stop leaving..."

Gone

It's hard to sleep at night only with memories of us knowing that I could have worked harder to try and keep you by my side but now you're with someone else and I'm trying to get you back but you'll never make that mistake again cause you love her too much.

The Passing Creatures

It's loud!

They are probably vicious monsters awaiting for me to come take me away.

I hear them pounding their paws and long, dirty claws at my window.

They have found me!

Their terrifying screams have ceased and the pounding has ended. They are slowly departing away .. oh! Wait! The leader has roared in the distance. They follow to find their next prey ripped to pieces.

But they told me to warn you...You're next.

They are infuriating with anger and have made my house tremble.

I close my eyes to pray and hope that it was all a dream. That my mind, like always, was playing a twisted and cruel ploy against my fragile spirit.

Once again, I was right.

No need to worry.

They were nothing but fictional yet vivid, dark creatures of a simple storm passing by us.

What if?

So, I wonder

What would have been if...

it were different...

If there were to be more patience than temptation.. More love than desperation...

If the sands of time would have added more than run down fast to the ending of our story...

What would have happened if we we're enlighten and understood each other's needs earlier than now...

Now that we have moved on or at least pretend and convinced ourselves that we have...

There's nothing else we can

do than sit, stare and wonder...

What if...?

Scared

I'm scared.

My heart is racing.

It's dark.

I'm alone.

It's the shadows.

My friends inside my head.

Why? What do they want?

"Pain.." They whisper

"Help me!" I scream.

I'm alone and terrified.

My thoughts.

They're taking over them.

The rope. The lighter. The razor.

They're taking control.

I'm scared.

Alone.

Help.

What do I do?

My heart is racing and they want it.

Blood.

Pain.

Help.

I'm alone.

Scared.

I wonder back to you.

I've been awakened by the sound of the wind blowing through my ears, and the music that birds play. The sun rays gently kissing my cheeks and the smell of a peaceful stream miles away.

I wonder through the woods in search of companionship.

So, many times I've been left alone.

I found a stranger once and he stole my fruit.

I continue my search for a home.

I've lost my way back, but no matter how much I try to remember the past it only takes me back to him.

I Stay

I stay

While he goes around

I stay

While he plays around

I stay

Until he comes around

And when he comes around will he stay around?

I stay

An Explorer

You've explored more places than I have

Your seen and tasted more than I ever will

I want to be like you

I want to show no pain

Strong

Firm

An explorer

But then you're here and all I can think about are the places you've explored without me

The people you've met instead of knowing more about me

You've explored

And I've stayed. When you come I'm less. Less than your other views.

The Others

I was lost in until I found you,

Real

Unbelievable

Beautiful

Enchanting

New love.

It was amazing, but it ended as soon as it begun. We've walked into the arms of someone else-you to your lovely temptation and copy and I to your total opposite. He the

Most cliché and unoriginal individual you think he might be.

Oh! Don't get me wrong it's not to make it even. I just can't believe what this has become. Just remember me when you leave..with another.

Our Savior

We come to you

With broken hearts

And open arms

We are slaves to our loved ones that have mistreated us.

We come to you for help

From the heavy storm that torments us

We come to you

To save us from drowning,

And you do.

You guide us like a light in the dark that help the broken hearted

But we are loyal.

We claim to be loved but these cuts show otherwise.

We are loved.

We are loved.

We are loved.

We are gone.

Just wait and you'll see that we will come to you.

Always Here

I was here

You were there

You come here and stay

How long? Will you stay?

Together, again.

For how long? Will you stay?

You came and stayed

You were there

And I stayed

Recognizable

A dramatic change has occurred to me over the past year or so. Everyone else has noticed.

It is clear to see my uncontrollable feelings and the blank stare I express through this pale-colored face, dark eyes, cracked lips, and broken heart. It's been long gone since I've been able to defeat the pain and hold back these burning tears, but now I am .. Unrecognizable.

Not even my mirror is able to reproduce the image of the horrendous monster I've become.

I am threat to the world.

A sack of depression which will instantly turn happiness into my own suffering.

I've become the knife which I use to paint my clean and pure body to a regretful red color.

Self-pity has become my middle name.

I am burden and have become afraid to be rejected.

To be pushed away like I have done onto others.

I want to turn back time.

To do what I love.

To see my reflection once again.

Recognizable, is what I long to be.

Worth It

Am I really

Worth it..?

The men I have been with have shown otherwise.

They trap me and use me until I've fallen.

Just like them, most friends have left me and taken my friendship for granted.

Am I really.. worth it?

Love Test

Pointed at,

Laughed at,

And labeled

All because she did not know about the French letters.

Proved her love without knowing she'd be eating for two later.

Family disappointed.

Friends supportive.

She's devoted.

Pointed at.

Laughed at,

And labeled all because she didn't know about the consequences 'til later.

Fly

Fly high.

Feel the breeze against my face.

Feel the worries leave.

Feel the love increase.

Fly high.

Above so high.

One day, fly

Above the skies.