Hate

I hate it here

I hate everyone

My head is constantly spinning

I'm unclear

Of whether or not I need you with me right now

See, I love you so much more than you know

But sometimes I just feel like I'm suffocating and I just get so low.

I can't help it!

I've sunken in the deep pits of despair and depression too many times before

I take my lighter, I inhale

It's been far too long I been skating on jagged rails

I have to avoid fighting with you

Can you even look at me and say the things you do?

I hate that you love me

Because I love you too

And I would do anything for you!

I hate that you're there for me

When I'm feeling down

You come around

You can tell just by one look that something is wrong

Maybe there is.

I guess I've just been walking on this road for so long

That I just can't really see myself being happy

I hate that I love you

Because the one thing I used to go to

Was pushing people away

They didn't care

No one ever cared before

Not like you

Along the way I lost score

I would keep count of each person that left

"Maybe the next one will stay" I would tell myself

They didn't, and a little part of me would slowly decay

And then I met you

And I didn't push you away

I craved you,

I craved the attention and the love

And that's why I hate you

Because I can't live without you when all I've ever been was alone