happy anniversary, darling

please tag me if you share <3 @meliorsini

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it's finally been a whole year. in my mind this was going to be the appropriate time for me to grieve and let go. a full circle with perfect closure. yet here i am, remembering effortlessly this date like if moments were repeating themselves. i'm back at my first studio apartment, we're sitting in my small eating table —conveniently for two — which is right in front of the bathroom door and also next to the kitchen. i'm filing the air with questions and you, a master of excuses, find a way to avoid them all. i start crying. i hate that about myself but i can't help it, i'm that person. and could you blame me? it only took you, what? an entire month to finally show your face after breaking up with me over the phone. good thing i kept your mom's old movies and you had to come back for them, otherwise your ghosting would've been a complete success. yet being face to face didn't make much difference. you lied when i asked if there was someone else. "you're too good to me" somehow seemed like a great reason to you. was i supposed to feel special? you left me. yet i said my good byes that day, wished you to be happy although i didn't mean it and i see now you are — happy, i mean — without me. it looks like you've found the one... i remember when that used to be me. i also remember seeing that same ring you're wearing now in your left pinky in every picture with your new lover. a ring that used to be hers according to older pictures on her profile, and yes, of course i stalked her. you were wearing it the day you swore to me it wasn't like that and that you just had to go to find yourself elsewhere, away from your mother. and that i get but i just couldn't throw away my life for you and move to another country like you wanted, that i don't regret, that's why you said i was too much and you simply found yourself another companion. i cried for you, you know? i did, so i suppose it's true, i am too much. i guess all i wanted to let you know is that i thank you for making me feel those feelings, for being a hard lesson fully learned. now i am choosing to clear the skies and do let go, so here i am, putting together a few words for you, one last time. and now i to close the circle, i am moving on and again, i wish you every happiness — for real this time.