Hair Did Done

Yeah, at Dick’s Service Station,

getting my hair all did done.

Dorothy’s ruby slippers,

Marilyn plastered all over.

He can’t wait to snip me,

circumcise my head,

or is there a razor so sure

that my 80’s mop

will no longer seal my old youth,

with life-size Wonder Woman,

empowering me

to take pride

in anima formation,

like a wobble head

of a badass woman

diva-ing a song so massive

these silver-sparkled microphones

of phallic proportion

will thrill me, deal me

feel me fading away

with my pocky hands

reaching into your bowl of suckers

like a hungry potato head.

Ah, yes, splash me

With some aftershave,

and I’ll anycockledoo ya

with your rooster figurines,

while you say,

“Madonna has always been in our corner.”

True dat.

But just finish me, man.

Properly blow me,

all disputes settled—

it’s time to book it

to my drab job

and speed away.