Growing Self-esteem Through Poetry

I'm 21 and I've lived with insecurities my whole life. I'm not going to lie, I still have some. Having a nice body, clear skin, and cute clothes was the most important thing in my life for the longest time. I mean, it is always good to take care of yourself, but we should do it for the right reasons, right? A year ago, I wouldn't go out without make up and let people see me looking "gross." I had breakouts and, even though my boyfriend is the sweetest person and calls me beautiful always, it did not matter to me because I was not able to call myself beautiful. I would spend two hours getting ready, then I would say "well, that is all I can do." I think it is really sad when all you see in yourself are flaws, and you feel like you are not enough. But I was tired of it.

One day I found a book called The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur; it changed the way I looked at me. There was this short poem, "I notice everything I do not have and decide it is beautiful." After reading those words, I felt ashamed. How did I waste so much time admiring other girls' beauty instead of accepting myself first? So I decided to stop criticizing the way I look and to start growing self-love. I never thought a single quote would change the way I perceived beauty not only in me, but in others too. I bought more poetry books, read them all, analyzed word by word, opened my mind, and accepted that I am not perfect, I am not like any other girls, and that I am attractive on my own way.

Poetry taught me to be kind to my soul and my body, and it actually helped me to find happiness inside me. Reading about how sad it is a girl reducing herself into physical appearance made me notice that I am much more than that and that I have more to offer too. It was a lot of work to find courage to not wear make up and my best clothes to go to college everyday, but I did it. It was all about making a decision. I guess it is called glowing-up. Well, my glow-up was based on self-love and self-acceptance because that is all we need; we start from the inside and it will be reflected in the outside. It is all a process, and I believe we only need to listen (or read) the right words to turn off that switch in our heads that says we have to look perfect under the eyes of others. And if you think about the times you felt self-conscious, you'll realize that being insecure is not a part of you, neither a part of your personality.

Poetry was what turned off the switch inside me and empowered me to improve as a human being. So I wanted to share this because I strongly believe that words can either hurt or cure. Therefore, it is your choice to pick the right path. You may find support on something different, such as music, painting, movies, etc. But find it. Like I said before, it is a process. Start by identifying what you like and what you don't like about you. Accept you are not like other people and you will never be. Be happy and thankful for the way you were made. And most important, never compare yourself. Don't give up; recognize your flaws and call them beautiful too.