grey

i hate the color

grey

because of thunderclouds

and hard concrete sidewalk stoops

and the prevailing sense of

melancholy

that lingers in its corners.

toe the line,

do not step over it.

work hard,

do not labor.

sleep,

do not dream.

push yourself,

not over the abyss.

give,

not everything.

write,

do not bleed words.

feel,

but do not drown.

and i am somewhere

over the line

drawing in black markers

where my heart

rules my world

because i gave it away

where i dream all day

and only wake up for nightmares.

what i will love

will kill me

but at least i know

what heaven tastes like

on my tongue

and that hell burns

beautiful flames.

i will find my place

amongst the black angels

and white devils

where everything,

like me,

is too much.