Great Mothers Know

Behind every Great Mother

There's a broken-down child

Crushed under the cap of her

Sensible heel

Begging and searching

For the tender light of love

Behind every Great Mother

Lays a carefully curated daughter

With every liberty taken

From her for fairness's sake

Expected to repeat every

Generational mistake

Behind every Great Mother

Stands a pedestal-bound son

Towering above a

Bewildered and unwanted wife

Unsure how she inherited

Someone else's broken life

Behind every Great Mother

Exists a hungry gaping void

She pulled herself up by her bra-straps

Built herself from scratch

Who are you to take?

Who are you to ask for anything?

Behind every Great Mother

There is a long, hard road

You either blaze the trail together

Or bear the heavy load, alone

Passing down the burden

Either way

K.B. Silver

My mother was a self-appointed great. She loved to brag about leaving us in our cribs until we "learned" not to cry. She was a master of delegation. I cooked, I cleaned, I did elder care duty for my grandparents, and I helped my brother with homework. I had to help him with reading all the way into high school, because, like I am not autistic, he isn't dyslexic.

Once my brother got married (the first time, his first wife passed away from cancer), my mother's obsession became being a self-proclaimed great mother-in-law. My SIL's five-year battle with cancer gave my mother ample opportunity to cultivate all sorts of "good deeds," which she, of course, kept track of and used as leverage. Doing something nice isn't really generous if you directly ask for something in return later. I don't think people should give and give without receiving love and energy in return, but emotional blackmail isn't the way to do it.

Good mothers love their children unconditionally. They would give their own life to save them. It's why Sophie's choice wasn't to choose between her own life and her child's; it was to choose between two of her children. For most mothers, the former wouldn't be a choice. Unfortunately, I know which choice my mother would have made in both instances. From my perspective, she did make it. She chose herself roll credits.