Gradiosity

You stare into the mirror of delusion

Obsessed with your own self worth

And grandiosity

Pretentiously thinking the world

Is your oyster and yours alone

You think you deserve

To manipulate others until

They put you in their spotlight

And make their achievements

About you

Only you

Always you

Always you

Always, always, always fucking you

And when they push back

With their desire for truth

You shed pretty tears to obviate their reticence

You have conned so many people

Lovers, husbands, friends and sadly

Your children

Into thinking they have to allow you

To take whatever you want from their souls

And their dreams

And their lives

As long as it is to the magnificent glory of you

And your specialness

You disgust me

But I will still pray for, not just you,

But also, your victims

Addendum:

There is a woman I know, and she is a horrific narcissist (almost as bad as my parents) and from time to time I become aware of something she has done that just eats at my soul, and her vile evilness and rampant ego just knocks me to the floor. She is not family, and certainly not a friend, but I witness the damage she has done to people I deeply love and care about. So, I write about her. It is my therapy. Only a few people close to me know who she really is. And I have made sure she will never see these poems (sadly, she is suffering from the end stages of dementia, so she couldn’t comprehend them anyway). So, again, when her heinous behaviors come to light, and I get upset and angry and empathically feel the hurt she has caused my loved ones, I write about her, hoping that my words might resonate with others going through similar experiences or maybe someone will recognize these behaviors in themselves and start to do better. Knowing her has encouraged me often to sit back and question my own ego and behavior and try to do better. But in reality, as for her, all I can do is pray for her and her victims. She has damaged so many people with her manipulation and grandiose narcissism. She has ruined lives, careers and ruined lives with it. So, if you have noticed a theme with some of my writing, I wanted to share where this is coming from.

- Julie O'Hara 2023

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