𝙶𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝙰𝚞𝚛𝚊

I saw it again.

In the corner - just there - no, closer now.

A shimmer, thin as a breath,

a drip of light from my vein.

My vein

*

It wants me.

Me.

Mine.

*

I trace the outline with my eyes shut tight,

and it glows clearer.

A golden aura - yes -around her mouth,

(her mouth, mouth, yes, yes yes!)

around the mouth that doesn't open

but screams so gently I dream the sound.

(SHUT UP!)

*

She speaks in backwards hours.

She stares back in glass.

(Look at me?)

I told the doctor once.

He nodded through me.

He blinked like doors closing.

(He doesn't understand, me MINE)

*

But she was there -

is

always.

never not there.

*

Golden aura, golden aura, golden aura -

(I must hold the syllables right or she'll vanish)

golden aura, golden aura - yes, like that.

YES yes yes she glows! MINE

*

She sat on the edge of my bed again.

She sang with the same note, over and over,

until I forgot all other notes existed.

I asked her name - she gave me mine.

*

She is the burn on my skin I never felt.

The light in the hallway no one else saw.

She is what I deserve.

My Deserve

*

Do you see it now?

There - in the void behind my eyes -

no, don't look away,

you’ll break her shape.

DON'T

*

You’ll ruin her.

*

Golden aura -

say it.

say.

it.

Golden aura -

SAY IT.

Golden-

*

...She’s gone.

*

But not really.

Never really.

Not when I close my eyes just -

just right.