Going Dancing

I haven't moved in decades.

I haven't truly moved

I wake up from nights in a new place

Sleepwalking, sleep wandering

My body's silent cry for something.

I have dreams of bright lights,

Of aching muscles and dizziness

Of dancing too close to you again

Too close to be coincidence.

I wake with bit lips and tired eyes

And memories of strangers

And a feeling that this world is the dream

And my sleep is my reality

And then I still don't move.

I haven't moved in centuries

I think this version of me doesn't know how

This body can't remember what it was meant to do

The soul trapped somewhere it wasn't meant to be.

It's more tiring than dancing, sitting still

Atrophied and ancient from neglect

I will close my eyes and dream again.

Dreams of breath on my neck

Of too-tight shoes that just look so good

Of smiles in stuffy rooms and sweaty air

Warmth I wouldn't tolerate anywhere else

And I will stay there

Until I'm ready to wake up

Or maybe until I fall asleep again.

I am still not moving,

Until reality becomes the dream that feels like me

And I can say to myself,

"I'm ready to go dancing again."