Go Viral or Go Home

she was a question without an answer,

always searching for meaning in someone else,

even when she sat in front of a screen

and told her life’s story with little thought

as to whether “the internet” cared or not.

but there were cracks in the veneer,

all driven by the views ticking up and up,

as people found her in her home online

and ate up vlogs about her mental health,

all the things she wished she could say in real life.

“viral” wasn’t even on her mind until the day

she saw her latest vlog shared thousands

upon thousands of times on the socials,

the earth-shattering conversation with herself

where she shared her latest stint in the hospital.

all over one night (or so it seemed),

her inbox flooded with sentiments far and wide,

so many me too’s and yes, all of this that she

could have cried for the relief of it all,

though there was so much pressure too.

what she hadn’t planned on was to become

a face for mental health awareness when, really,

there were still so many days where she struggled

with tiny things like getting out of bed or even

just doing her laundry regularly each week.

but she did not crack or fall to pieces

as she became a brand unto herself,

sponsor requests flooding in until she

couldn’t believe the numbers, the posts,

the community that she built herself.

“viral” was just another word over time,

but it shaped her as she grew,

little by little and day by day,

into someone who knew just how

to greet the world as a commodity.

was it sad? maybe so

does she regret it? likely no

would she do a thing different?

hard to say, but there she is,

another video to add to the list.