Gloves and Shadows

If people knew

If they could see

The side of me

Withdrawn

The shadows of which

I do not speak

How then

Would I be perceived?

I never claimed to be an angel

I only claimed

My collar chafed

I only claimed

The blood spilt

I only claimed

The injustice dealt

To me

I, myself,

In every breath I take

Deny

I deny my involvement

Deny what I have done

What I have done

Not them

What I, myself,

Have done

I, who provoked the outrage

I, who cried alone

After my punishment was inflicted

I, who hurt myself

Who used them to hurt myself

If I, myself, was not the one

To physically deliver blows

Then I absolved myself

Blameless

The gloves on my hands

Are not enough

To hide the blood

I have shed

Mine and others

As my hands are unclean

So it now seems

That the crimson stains

All I touch

And even Clorox will not remove

The stains of filth

I have accumulated

Over many years

I fear, now,

In this moment,

I will never be clean

Pure

Innocence lost

Cannot be regained

And all of this

Is hidden

in my shadows