Given By God

I am the conductor and I always have been.

I've remembered things that I haven't done yet.

My life was like this before the trip, but when was the trip?

Was it when I stopped believing in myself? Was it when I started letting people whose souls I could hear tell me I was creepy? Just because I knew something about them that they had never told me?

Or was it when I was diagnosed as bipolar disorder and regarded my visions of the future as the delusions of a child?

Yet I knew my mother was pregnant before she did...twice.

Or was it when I dropped acid and shrooms on a monthly basis for about 5 months? May be. BUT these things have been happening my entire life.

I was dedicated as a baby and when I was old enough to understand (in my case around 5) I gave my life to Christ. You might think that's crazy or weird but I truly believed it for myself and lived by it.

Yes, I grew up in the church, but I also believe(d) by choice. And as I started to learn about spirituality as and spiritual gifts. I came to believe and accept that my dreams that always came true in the future are the gift of prophecy.

Upon coming to that I really tried to deepen my understanding of The Word and God's purpose on my life as well as my faith and devotion. I believe God is good, and good is God.

...But at some point the person I was seeing changed and I thought the visions were over and it was all dreamland.

It's pretty funny that I never considered that my looks would change and I wouldn't grow up looking exactly like my father.

Since realizing that I've started to be able to consciousnessly identify the places, people, conversations, and decisions from dreams that I had as a kid that are happening in my life now; instead of just being a nagging feeling.

Though some of them I didn't like and were bad or had a dark tint to them to reflect that. When I came across those I did what I could to change them and make them good with light tints.

I realize now I was literally shaping my own future and being shown what would happen if I made certain decisions.

That isn't to say I have complete control over my destiny or fate. God is the only omnipotent one and the moments I saw were just that...moments.

Though many of them were, are, and will be important moments in my life.

While that is truth, now that I'm living them in the present with the in betweens i've realized a lot of them were out of context, or I didn't have all the information when I saw them then.

I am NOT omnipresent or omniscient.

Some of those bad moments I've learned weren't necessarily bad. Some of the good moments had a tinged of sadness; because of previous bad decisions that could have been better with a different previous decision or a different state of mind.

At the end of the day I'm not perfect. But what I can say is that I will always try to choose the light, to choose love, truth, and justice. I CHOOSE the Lord.

I am not dark and I will not choose it.

Though I may stumble and make the wrong decision sometimes.

I am found, bound, protected, guided by, and purified in Jesus' name and I will not be lost again! I am and will continue to try my best to live in accordance with God's will and calling on my life. I succeed. I have FAITH.

I have been gifted with the ability to see and so I will speak and witness my truth to the ends of the earth!

God is truth, He is love, He is justice! I will speak to you with truth, love and justice! I pray and will pray for you, I see and will see you, I love and will love you, I fight and will fight for you and you WILL BE HEARD.

In the name of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit if I have been given words, blessings, protection, or guidance for you I will give it to you!

My doubt is dark, my faith is light. I have faith in myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I have faith in the God that made me. I BELIEVE it though to you, it may not be true.

I believe as I did as a child even though I was lost for years in my late teenage and adult life. I believe and I am building a church. Not a place but a people. We will speak The Word. We will speak love, we will speak truth, we will speak justice and we will SERVE you.

I am the conductor, I believe this to be true.

But I am more than conductor. The conductor is just the first step. To be the conductor is to be open but open carefully.

The dark seeks you as much as the light.

Be careful of your choice, I pray you choose right.

I am the conductor and so much more.

To me it is TRUTH.

For I am the conductor, and so are you.

Blessings To You